Archive | July 2014

You Better…

I can look over the last five years and say thank God I’m not the woman that I used to be. I can look over the last ten years of my life and be absolutely grateful for my growth. But man people! Yes… People have been trying me lately. Questioning my loyalty, my character and even my love for my husband. Thankfully I have been able to maintain and not flip COMPLETELY out, however you better be careful! Folks are poking the bear, stirring the pot, shaking the table.

Now by no means do I feel as though I am better than anyone. But… I am definitely on a totally different path. I am not doing anything that I do for show, to prove anyone wrong or to paint a pretty picture on a damaged canvas. My life is so far from perfect, but the fact of the matter is I’ve never claimed it to be. My issues run deep but I have never been the one to hide the scars because I learned so much from them. I don’t have to remember what I told one person just so that things can check out with another. I am who I am and that is more than enough for me. So you better look deep within and figure out why no one, including you, knows who you really are.

I was always told that I was too quick to call someone a friend. My mother used to tell me “you don’t have any damn friends”. I hated that, as a kid, but as an adult what she was saying has become completely clear. I tend try to help people and love them where they are NO MATTER WHAT. We’ve all done a thing or thirty two that we are not proud of, so who am I to judge. But some folks simply don’t deserve the time of day. You know the ones that you meet for the first time and you immediately feel as though they’re putting on a show, but you try anyway. I mean you are we to judge. But please know You better stop the act and let the curtain drop on that production of Messy Boats you’re putting on worldwide.

Now… You can say what you want about me but HUNTY when it comes to talking about or even speaking of the love I have for my husband… You best pause and have all the seats… I mean seats to infinite. This man has changed my life in such amazing ways. I’ve loved him since I was in the eighth grade and didn’t even know it. He created my thought and description of how I felt a man should love a woman. He has built me up when I was down, loved me where I was and allowed me to grow. He prays for me and is a true blessing from God above. My husband allowed me to regain my faith, reassuring me that The Lord is on His own time, but when He’s ready prayers will be answered. My husband is proof that there are some awesome men still left in the world. You better know that if you send for him, I’m coming for you! You better believe that what we have is real because God allowed us to deal with the mess so that we would know that we’re blessed.

I’m trying so very hard not to stoop to the low level that people have been trying to make me drop to. You better know that God is still working on me and I’m real close to jumping in feet first to the lowest of the lows. You better know that I have not always been so sweet and kind and I seriously suppressing the Bush in me. You better know that I’m a lady and I’m trying hard not to give you what you’re asking for because in real life you don’t even know!

This Natural Hair Thing

So…… For the last few weeks the Natural Community has been up in arms about who’s considered “natural”. Are white women natural or is it just a black thing, is one considered natural if they have never had a relaxer or is it only when one has transitioned and/or done the big chop?

Well depending on who you are some of these things will qualify a well as disqualify me from #TeamNatural, I consider myself natural all the way. I have been rocking my afro/afro puff for over 10 years now, but I never had a relaxer! However, my hair is thick as ever, some parts in tight coils while other some parts are super curly. My question is if it grew out of my head like this in its natural state then isn’t that my natural hair? I rock wash n go’s, twist outs, afros, Bantu knots and more but because I didn’t go through these unspoken rights of passage then I’m not natural? Really 😏

True story before the Natural Hair Movement took off some years ago I decided to go into a shop and get my hair done. I was a walk in and when a stylist was assigned to me she came to the waiting area to escort me to her chair. I was excited wanting to see what she could do to tame this mane of mine. But as I sat I the chair I looked into the face of the stylist and I could tell SHE WAS NOT READY! She said ummmmm do you have a relaxer. Nope, I replied can’t stand the smell. She walked behind me, stood there for a moment and then removed my cape. I can’t… I don’t know what to do to your hair to tame it other than relax it. Wow my mind was blown, but I thanked her for not wasting my time, went home and pulled this stuff up into a ponytail. Really 😏

Fast ward to not even a year ago. I went to a “natural hair salon” to have my hair done for my Bridal Shower. The stylist took me to her chair, gave me a “hair consult” and began my process. Guess what???? Waste of my time. I looked like Raggedy Ann with curl created using brown gel and flexirods. She saw the look on my face and said well your hair is too fine for natural styles, you should cut it all off and start again. Ummmmmm…. Really 😏

I have cut my hair several times in my life and guess what? It grows back this exact same way because it my natural hair texture. So why can’t my texture be just as celebrated as others? Oh because I’m more 3C than 4C? Why must we always find a way to create a division, some sort of drama and be so against one another? I think that this whole hair typing thing is just as disrespectful as saying “she’s cute for a dark skinned girl”, no fool she’s just cute, you understand where I’m coming from?

I am more than my hair, but my hair is a part of me. And furthermore I was born with this pattern so it’s my natural hair. To me, I’m the definition of natural! The reason why women decide to do the big chop is to achieve what I was blessed with naturally. I’m not throwing shade, I’m just telling my story the best way that I know how. When it’s all said and done I love the #TeamNatural community but I don’t need it to validate my tresses.

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