Tag Archive | drama

Who Has Time for Grudges

I went on Instagram today and in 11 minutes saw that 2 guys I grew up with were murdered over the weekend…. so I pose this question… who has time for grudges? Why hold on to anger or hate or feelings of ill will for a person because of what you feel they've done wrong to you? Who is that grudge hurting more, them or you?

Read this sentence and if necessary read a thousand more times…. your grudge is only hurting YOU! The person you're upset with has more than likely moved or and/or don't even care enough to remember what they did to you. And you're sitting there rolling or eyes and overly expressing an exaggerated attitude that no one cares about but you. You know what I mean… you're the only sitting at a super bomb ass party big mad, watching everyone enjoy themselves because that one person is there that you refuse to forgive! And I know because I used to be that person. The one that would sit there with my arms folded, face twisted all up, and a mad funky attitude… just waiting for someone to ask me what was wrong. But guess what? No one did! No wanted wanted to sit around the fun stealer when the party was so fun.

So I learned to just let it go. And let me tell you a little #pettyfact 🤷🏽‍♀️, when that person knows they've done you wrong and yet you are still out here living your life that hurts them a million times worst than a grudge. True story, yesterday I was at the gym and I saw an ex that had hurt me really bad. He just left, no reason, explanation, nothing just gone. Now I'd seen him a few times previously but I told myself "what the hell should I speak for, he hurt me" and I would frown my face up and ignored him. But yesterday I walked right over to where he was and spoke. When I tell you I could literally see him lose color in his face (and he's a pretty chocolate guy) I was slightly tickled. And when I walked away I could feel the grudge lifted off of me. And in that moment I thought to myself who has time for grudges?!?!?

So take some time to think about the grudge that you may be harboring. And be honest with yourself about the weight it is actually having on your life. Then do yourself a favor… LET IT GO! Now I'm not telling you that you have to be that persons BFF or even deal with them on a regular basis. However, releasing the energy of that grudge from your spirit simply allows for space for better things.

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Celebrity does not mean not human

WE ARE SO DAMN NOSEY!!!!!!! How would you feel if every moment of your life was broadcast for the world to see? How many times would you be in TMZ news if they did a story every time you and your daughters father broke up? Or that the girl you were dating was your brother’s boyfriend’s ex girlfriend? Learn how to mind your own business. 

I mean honestly how in order is your life exactly? Are all of your bills paid? Have you done all that is in your power to make your dream(s) come true? Okay let me start with something a little simpler… have your children had dinner or ate all day for that matter?  Seriously people! Now I understand that these individuals choose to use their talent to entertain the masses but the didn’t sign over their rights to privacy. Let them breathe, let them enjoy life. 

Let’s think about it like this… you work everyday, that is what you choose to do for your money. Then you go home and enjoy your private life. But those two things are separate for the most part. You choose what you do and do not share. So stop freaking stalking these celebrities looking for negativity in their live when you are throwing stones but living in a glass house. In the words of one of the cute little social media sensations “worry bout you self”! Allow these people, these human being to do their job, which is entertain. If they are getting a divorce or cheating or having side babies just remember you don’t know their story. You only know what the blogs, magazines and social media tells you. Even if you see it on their pages it’s only the part they want you to see. You don’t know them and they don’t know you. 

You Better…

I can look over the last five years and say thank God I’m not the woman that I used to be. I can look over the last ten years of my life and be absolutely grateful for my growth. But man people! Yes… People have been trying me lately. Questioning my loyalty, my character and even my love for my husband. Thankfully I have been able to maintain and not flip COMPLETELY out, however you better be careful! Folks are poking the bear, stirring the pot, shaking the table.

Now by no means do I feel as though I am better than anyone. But… I am definitely on a totally different path. I am not doing anything that I do for show, to prove anyone wrong or to paint a pretty picture on a damaged canvas. My life is so far from perfect, but the fact of the matter is I’ve never claimed it to be. My issues run deep but I have never been the one to hide the scars because I learned so much from them. I don’t have to remember what I told one person just so that things can check out with another. I am who I am and that is more than enough for me. So you better look deep within and figure out why no one, including you, knows who you really are.

I was always told that I was too quick to call someone a friend. My mother used to tell me “you don’t have any damn friends”. I hated that, as a kid, but as an adult what she was saying has become completely clear. I tend try to help people and love them where they are NO MATTER WHAT. We’ve all done a thing or thirty two that we are not proud of, so who am I to judge. But some folks simply don’t deserve the time of day. You know the ones that you meet for the first time and you immediately feel as though they’re putting on a show, but you try anyway. I mean you are we to judge. But please know You better stop the act and let the curtain drop on that production of Messy Boats you’re putting on worldwide.

Now… You can say what you want about me but HUNTY when it comes to talking about or even speaking of the love I have for my husband… You best pause and have all the seats… I mean seats to infinite. This man has changed my life in such amazing ways. I’ve loved him since I was in the eighth grade and didn’t even know it. He created my thought and description of how I felt a man should love a woman. He has built me up when I was down, loved me where I was and allowed me to grow. He prays for me and is a true blessing from God above. My husband allowed me to regain my faith, reassuring me that The Lord is on His own time, but when He’s ready prayers will be answered. My husband is proof that there are some awesome men still left in the world. You better know that if you send for him, I’m coming for you! You better believe that what we have is real because God allowed us to deal with the mess so that we would know that we’re blessed.

I’m trying so very hard not to stoop to the low level that people have been trying to make me drop to. You better know that God is still working on me and I’m real close to jumping in feet first to the lowest of the lows. You better know that I have not always been so sweet and kind and I seriously suppressing the Bush in me. You better know that I’m a lady and I’m trying hard not to give you what you’re asking for because in real life you don’t even know!

We Are Simply Related

You know how the old saying goes, something like… blood is thicker than water. So please explain to me how that same blood that bonds us stops a man from being a father to his daughter.

Is that thin water the reason that my tears are invisible? And why is it when it’s my turn to talk my message is so undeliverable?

I understand you were and are the best you that you know how to be. But how dare you get upset when all that I’m doing is being me.

You hurt me more than you will ever know and you are my mother… Father… Sister… Brother… Yet you fail to understand that titles won’t ever make us closer to one another.

And yes I love and I forgive you but I choose to stay away. Not because I’m holding on but because you really haven’t changed and things are always your way or no way.

As a child I had no choice but to take it, to live the way we lived. But as a woman I have the option to decide to what and to whom the energy that I give.

Family doesn’t do something for you and then have to tell everyone they did it. Family doesn’t beg you to tell your deepest darkest secret then run with it and expose it.

Drama is always the dish of the day no matter the time or the place. Talking about me behind my back and jumping all up in my face.

Then you have the audacity to get mad when I defend myself. Do you think I’m going to continue to allow you to deplete my mental and emotional wealth?

Nope not at all and not even with a heavy heart. I have friends bound to me by love that have fulfilled the family part.

So while you think that blood makes of us family and I just have to accept and take it. In my mind all that blood does is simply make us related.

He can’t be serious (Part 6)

The girls parted the door and allowed Nori entrance. We are not talking in here Toni demanded. Austin has had enough in the last 24 hours and she WILL relax today. Carrie suggested that they go on the patio in the back. They walked through the living room that was decked with a cream microfiber and tan leather sectional, a cherrywood entertainment center with a 54 inch plasma television and high-tech sound system, accented so well with pewter framed photos of the girls, their family and friends. Austin’s porcelain dolls were displayed on top of the entertainment center, Carrie’s Barbie dolls were incased in the pewter and glass trunk that doubled as the coffee table and on top was Toni’s crystal figurines.

Each room that was a common area had a touch of the ladies. And one thing was certain they did not live like college students. If you were on the outside looking in you would think they came from money but that was far for the truth. Toni, the oldest of 3 girls born and raised Detroit worked as a nurses assistant 40 plus hours a week since she got to Atlanta. Carrie, and only child born in Tennessee and raised in Philadelphia worked as a supervisor of a call center working almost everyday. She started working part time as a compliance rep and worked her way up. Austin, the baby of 5 born and raised in Cleveland, Ohioo, worked at a sports bar until she won the amateur night at the club and since then became one of the clubs top dancers.

As they exited the kitchen to reach the patio Carrie and Toni sat on the lounge chair and Nori stood nervously in front of them. So spit it out dude because your boy has some… Look Toni I’m not with what he did to her or you guys either and I’m about to tell it all. The girls looked at Nori shocked and confused, is he about to violate the “man law”? Are you snitching, Toni frowned. Give him a chance to speak Toni, God! Carrie tried to do her best to back Nori up. Definitely not snitching but I am not going to continue to sit back and watch him hurt her using the fact that she dances as a excuse. I know everything and I’m telling it all. We all know that she is 100% faithful to him and she never lied to him from day one and he’s been a dog since before that day. They all kind of giggled knowing that Nori was telling the truth.

Toni sorry to tell you but he’s been banging your sisters since we meet them last year. Shyra is all the way bad with it, but he got Reagan too. When they came here for Thanksgiving last year DaVaughn was all in Shyra’s ear and by the time dinner was over she had his number in her phone and they were texting while you guys were putting up the tree. Then he danced with Reagan at the club and by the third song they were in the bathroom. Your sisters be bustin it open dawg! All Toni could do was shake her head. Wow, I’m in total shock, Carrie said hanging on Nori’s every word. Oh and he still mess with his baby’s momma! The girls looked at each other as though their wheels were turning. Dang, haven’t I heard something like that before.

He Can’t be Serious (Part 4)

Hey. Austin couldn’t tell who’s voice it was, hello who is this? I just wanna say that I love you and I’ve always wanted to whisper those words in your ear as you slept in my arms. I know that will probably never happen now, but I will tell you everything. Who is this? Austin could not identify the voice for the life of her. I’m going to hang up! No please don’t, I’m not a stranger but my love is what you absolutely deserve but I know you’ll never know. You are a work of art in motion, you are love breathing and I adore your air! Austin could not help but to blush, no one has ever talked to her like that. Aussie are you there? Yes I am I just don’t really know what to say to a person that I can’t readily identify. I understand, can you meet me somewhere. Hell no! I don’t know you you’re not about to serial kill me and she immediately hung up.

She sat on the floor and simply listened. She heard the floor creeping, the central air humming, the sound of Toni’s tv playing across the hall, the stairs settling. Austin took it all in, listening to the soft noises of the place she has called home for the last year or so. The girls had not decided if they would sign another lease seeing that graduation is around the corner and they all had no particular plans. There were talks about staying another year to just kinda live before running head first into the careers.

Please God explain to me how one night tears a family completely to shreds. These girls have had my back when my own family deserted me. We have fought together, danced together, studied together… Everything! These ladies have been my everything for the last few years. They’re all that I have and I’m not going to allow a man to come between that bond. Her thoughts were disturbed once again my the buzzing of her phone. What, her frustrations rattled through the phone lines. He’s still messing with his baby’s momma too! Click! Her heart jumped up into her throat and the tears began to fall over her cheeks.

She pulled herself off the floor, still completely dressed, shoes and all and exited her room. She stood the second floor hallway as if she had never been there before. Totally lost and dazed she knocked on Toni’s door, but there was no answer. After a couple of seconds she walked down the stairs and into the living room where her roomies were being watched by the tv as they quietly conversed. Someone just called my phone and told me that DaVaughn is sleeping wit his baby momma. Both Toni and Carrie slightly startled looked over to their sister mate as she was standing at the edge of the sofa with tears crawling down her face. They both set frozen for a moment then jumped to comfort her. Toni Geneva Landers I am sorry she whimpered, it’s not your fault that I have HORRIBLE taste in men. You are my sister and even your trifling ass little sisters are my sisters, but that man is just a boy! When God made that one he did not break the mold. The sister mates burst into laughter and sat together on the couch to discuss their dramatic evening. Wait Aussie who called you and told you. I don’t know, I can’t tell who it is I don’t recognize the voice.

The girls talked into the morning and decided to go to church instead of going to sleep. They took Austin’s truck but Carrie drove. As they pulled into the parking lot of Word of Love Faith Austin’s cell rang. She fished it out of the bottom her purse. Hmmm, it’s a 216 area code, who calling me from home?

He Can’t be serious (part 3)

Baby please let me talk to you, let’s get out of here and I can explain everything. It’s not even what you think for real for real! Austin stood in the door way trying so hard not to throw her book bag at his head! Who in the hell did he think she was, and moreover who in the hell did he think he was! Toni jumped up from the couch and darted at DaVaughn, really punk ass it’s not what she thinks? This drama was really eating at Toni and she was completely fed of with DaVaughn constantly running game on her sister friend. 

He had cheated on her a few times before and the time before finding out about Shyra, DaVaughn had slept with one of the other dancers where Austin worked and almost lost his life over it. Austin was doing her solo performance center stage when the club owner ran into the club screaming call the police, they’re shooting. The girls were ushered backstage by floor security and the club was cleared. Then Austin, while getting dressed to go home received a text from Vaughn saying “she flat out lying”! She was confused until Lorie came in and asked Austin if they could talk “woman to woman”. Austin knew immediately that it was about to be some bullshit. Listen, Lorie said coming off with an attitude, he approached me. He said that he wanted to get to know me a little better and that you were kind of boring in bed. So I’ve been sucking him off in his car for the last month because, well you won’t. Austin laughed at the dusty broad and pushed past her, making sure she added enough force to assure that Lorie hit the wall extra hard. Girl God is saving your life tonight, only if this was a few years ago I would’ve snapped your fucking neck. Austin never even looked in Lorie’s direction as she walked to hall leading away from the dressing room like she was in a runway. 

Well I saw it so what should I think, Toni grunted with anger. With a slick smile on five face DaVaughn questioned, what exactly do you think that you saw Tee? You saw your sister who snuck in Aussie room and tried to rape me? DaVaughn spewed his lies with a straight face. Ha, really you have got to be kidding me brah! No what I saw you caressing your hands through her hair as she laid her head in your lap. And as a recall from the motions her head was making in for damn sure she wasn’t napping! Toni stood there staring at DaVaughn waiting for just one sign to snatch him up. However DaVaughn arrogantly ignored her glare, Aussie please pumpkin let me explain. He reached for her hand attempting to pull her out the door. Austin snapped out of her state of shock, get your nasty, whoring, cheating, filthy, lying ass hands off of me! I must really look like a dumb chick to you. You had sex with Toni’s little sister in my bed, where we lay, where we make love? She scoffed, shook her head and attempted to walk out the door, but DaVaughn blocked her. Vaughn I’m telling you get out of my way, she mumbled through her teeth trying to contain herself.

By this time some of their neighbors started looking out their windows to see what was going on. The girls had moved into their condo cul-de-sac a little over a year ago. All of the condos were duplexes separated by driveways and garages. It was about 15 to 20 units on the street that they lived on in the middle class neighborhood. There were a lot of upperclassmen renting condos in this area and many of them knew Austin, Toni and Carrie. Two boys and a girl that also attended Clark Atlanta lived in the connected duplex. John and James were twins and their younger sister Asia were bringing groceries into the house as the ruckus saw going on.

Hey, one of the guys called out, is everything straight? Mind your business my dude, I can handle mine! DaVaughn turned and yelled at their neighbors. The twins began to walk over to their door, but Carrie waved them off. It’s all good guys, but thanks. I’ll call you if I need you. They slowly moved back towards their home keeping their eyes on DaVaughn.  The girls jumped in DaVaughn’s face in unison, boy you ain’t running a damn thing over here they sang out simultaneously! Carrie and Toni stood in front of Austin as if to block him from reaching for her again. You ARE NOT about to make a scene at my home! Austin caught herself yelling and quickly corrected her tone. So your just going to take this, this, this… This what? Toni interrupted? I want you to call me out of my name, oh boy! PLEASE… Say something foul and you already know!

Austin with a look of scattered emotions tattooed on her face, turned around and headed upstairs to her bedroom. She couldn’t take it anymore, she just wanted to close her eyes on this night and wake and it’s all over. She threw her book bag and purse on the floor and climbed into bed, shoes and all! She was exhausted in every way.

Austin was cradled in her bed attempting to hide herself from the outside world continued to be interrupted by the nagging sound of her cell phone vibrating on her purse against the hardwood floor. Maybe they will stop calling. Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, pause. Thank God, they got the hint. Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. Seriously, clearly I’m not answering the damn phone. Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. Austin unraveled herself from her fortress of blankets, and blindly searched her dark room for her purse on the floor. After about what seemed like 30 billion calls Austin grumbled into her cell, hello.