Tag Archive | messy

Related DOES NOT mean friends

I know I know I know…. family is all you have right? WRONG! A lot of the time family can be your worst enemy. They can cut you down, kick you when you hit the bottom, and shovel the dirt on you even though they see you're still breathing.

I was watching Iyanla Vanzant's show on YouTube and she talked about family being forever relationships, the relationships that you will never, no matter what be able to end. And guess what folks? She is so right, you can't end it but oh you can separate from it.

With that being said what you have to learn to do is love from a distance. You don't have to go to every family gathering, cookout, or get together. And think about how much fun is it really to go somewhere out of obligation. That doesn't mean that you don't love your family it just means you're not friends. There is no secret treaty that says you have that you must be around those that you're related to simply because you're related. You are not required to sit in the negativity of others and allow that mess to seep into your pores. And even if you end up going, if the atmosphere becomes too heavy for your positive vibes it is okay to get up and get gone. You're grown you don't owe anyone any explanation.

There is a saying that I use to this day… "blood only makes you related it does not make you family". In life you figure out the difference between relatives and family. Hell I'm not even related to the majority of my family.

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Celebrity does not mean not human

WE ARE SO DAMN NOSEY!!!!!!! How would you feel if every moment of your life was broadcast for the world to see? How many times would you be in TMZ news if they did a story every time you and your daughters father broke up? Or that the girl you were dating was your brother’s boyfriend’s ex girlfriend? Learn how to mind your own business. 

I mean honestly how in order is your life exactly? Are all of your bills paid? Have you done all that is in your power to make your dream(s) come true? Okay let me start with something a little simpler… have your children had dinner or ate all day for that matter?  Seriously people! Now I understand that these individuals choose to use their talent to entertain the masses but the didn’t sign over their rights to privacy. Let them breathe, let them enjoy life. 

Let’s think about it like this… you work everyday, that is what you choose to do for your money. Then you go home and enjoy your private life. But those two things are separate for the most part. You choose what you do and do not share. So stop freaking stalking these celebrities looking for negativity in their live when you are throwing stones but living in a glass house. In the words of one of the cute little social media sensations “worry bout you self”! Allow these people, these human being to do their job, which is entertain. If they are getting a divorce or cheating or having side babies just remember you don’t know their story. You only know what the blogs, magazines and social media tells you. Even if you see it on their pages it’s only the part they want you to see. You don’t know them and they don’t know you. 

You Better…

I can look over the last five years and say thank God I’m not the woman that I used to be. I can look over the last ten years of my life and be absolutely grateful for my growth. But man people! Yes… People have been trying me lately. Questioning my loyalty, my character and even my love for my husband. Thankfully I have been able to maintain and not flip COMPLETELY out, however you better be careful! Folks are poking the bear, stirring the pot, shaking the table.

Now by no means do I feel as though I am better than anyone. But… I am definitely on a totally different path. I am not doing anything that I do for show, to prove anyone wrong or to paint a pretty picture on a damaged canvas. My life is so far from perfect, but the fact of the matter is I’ve never claimed it to be. My issues run deep but I have never been the one to hide the scars because I learned so much from them. I don’t have to remember what I told one person just so that things can check out with another. I am who I am and that is more than enough for me. So you better look deep within and figure out why no one, including you, knows who you really are.

I was always told that I was too quick to call someone a friend. My mother used to tell me “you don’t have any damn friends”. I hated that, as a kid, but as an adult what she was saying has become completely clear. I tend try to help people and love them where they are NO MATTER WHAT. We’ve all done a thing or thirty two that we are not proud of, so who am I to judge. But some folks simply don’t deserve the time of day. You know the ones that you meet for the first time and you immediately feel as though they’re putting on a show, but you try anyway. I mean you are we to judge. But please know You better stop the act and let the curtain drop on that production of Messy Boats you’re putting on worldwide.

Now… You can say what you want about me but HUNTY when it comes to talking about or even speaking of the love I have for my husband… You best pause and have all the seats… I mean seats to infinite. This man has changed my life in such amazing ways. I’ve loved him since I was in the eighth grade and didn’t even know it. He created my thought and description of how I felt a man should love a woman. He has built me up when I was down, loved me where I was and allowed me to grow. He prays for me and is a true blessing from God above. My husband allowed me to regain my faith, reassuring me that The Lord is on His own time, but when He’s ready prayers will be answered. My husband is proof that there are some awesome men still left in the world. You better know that if you send for him, I’m coming for you! You better believe that what we have is real because God allowed us to deal with the mess so that we would know that we’re blessed.

I’m trying so very hard not to stoop to the low level that people have been trying to make me drop to. You better know that God is still working on me and I’m real close to jumping in feet first to the lowest of the lows. You better know that I have not always been so sweet and kind and I seriously suppressing the Bush in me. You better know that I’m a lady and I’m trying hard not to give you what you’re asking for because in real life you don’t even know!

We Are Simply Related

You know how the old saying goes, something like… blood is thicker than water. So please explain to me how that same blood that bonds us stops a man from being a father to his daughter.

Is that thin water the reason that my tears are invisible? And why is it when it’s my turn to talk my message is so undeliverable?

I understand you were and are the best you that you know how to be. But how dare you get upset when all that I’m doing is being me.

You hurt me more than you will ever know and you are my mother… Father… Sister… Brother… Yet you fail to understand that titles won’t ever make us closer to one another.

And yes I love and I forgive you but I choose to stay away. Not because I’m holding on but because you really haven’t changed and things are always your way or no way.

As a child I had no choice but to take it, to live the way we lived. But as a woman I have the option to decide to what and to whom the energy that I give.

Family doesn’t do something for you and then have to tell everyone they did it. Family doesn’t beg you to tell your deepest darkest secret then run with it and expose it.

Drama is always the dish of the day no matter the time or the place. Talking about me behind my back and jumping all up in my face.

Then you have the audacity to get mad when I defend myself. Do you think I’m going to continue to allow you to deplete my mental and emotional wealth?

Nope not at all and not even with a heavy heart. I have friends bound to me by love that have fulfilled the family part.

So while you think that blood makes of us family and I just have to accept and take it. In my mind all that blood does is simply make us related.

He Can’t be serious (part 3)

Baby please let me talk to you, let’s get out of here and I can explain everything. It’s not even what you think for real for real! Austin stood in the door way trying so hard not to throw her book bag at his head! Who in the hell did he think she was, and moreover who in the hell did he think he was! Toni jumped up from the couch and darted at DaVaughn, really punk ass it’s not what she thinks? This drama was really eating at Toni and she was completely fed of with DaVaughn constantly running game on her sister friend. 

He had cheated on her a few times before and the time before finding out about Shyra, DaVaughn had slept with one of the other dancers where Austin worked and almost lost his life over it. Austin was doing her solo performance center stage when the club owner ran into the club screaming call the police, they’re shooting. The girls were ushered backstage by floor security and the club was cleared. Then Austin, while getting dressed to go home received a text from Vaughn saying “she flat out lying”! She was confused until Lorie came in and asked Austin if they could talk “woman to woman”. Austin knew immediately that it was about to be some bullshit. Listen, Lorie said coming off with an attitude, he approached me. He said that he wanted to get to know me a little better and that you were kind of boring in bed. So I’ve been sucking him off in his car for the last month because, well you won’t. Austin laughed at the dusty broad and pushed past her, making sure she added enough force to assure that Lorie hit the wall extra hard. Girl God is saving your life tonight, only if this was a few years ago I would’ve snapped your fucking neck. Austin never even looked in Lorie’s direction as she walked to hall leading away from the dressing room like she was in a runway. 

Well I saw it so what should I think, Toni grunted with anger. With a slick smile on five face DaVaughn questioned, what exactly do you think that you saw Tee? You saw your sister who snuck in Aussie room and tried to rape me? DaVaughn spewed his lies with a straight face. Ha, really you have got to be kidding me brah! No what I saw you caressing your hands through her hair as she laid her head in your lap. And as a recall from the motions her head was making in for damn sure she wasn’t napping! Toni stood there staring at DaVaughn waiting for just one sign to snatch him up. However DaVaughn arrogantly ignored her glare, Aussie please pumpkin let me explain. He reached for her hand attempting to pull her out the door. Austin snapped out of her state of shock, get your nasty, whoring, cheating, filthy, lying ass hands off of me! I must really look like a dumb chick to you. You had sex with Toni’s little sister in my bed, where we lay, where we make love? She scoffed, shook her head and attempted to walk out the door, but DaVaughn blocked her. Vaughn I’m telling you get out of my way, she mumbled through her teeth trying to contain herself.

By this time some of their neighbors started looking out their windows to see what was going on. The girls had moved into their condo cul-de-sac a little over a year ago. All of the condos were duplexes separated by driveways and garages. It was about 15 to 20 units on the street that they lived on in the middle class neighborhood. There were a lot of upperclassmen renting condos in this area and many of them knew Austin, Toni and Carrie. Two boys and a girl that also attended Clark Atlanta lived in the connected duplex. John and James were twins and their younger sister Asia were bringing groceries into the house as the ruckus saw going on.

Hey, one of the guys called out, is everything straight? Mind your business my dude, I can handle mine! DaVaughn turned and yelled at their neighbors. The twins began to walk over to their door, but Carrie waved them off. It’s all good guys, but thanks. I’ll call you if I need you. They slowly moved back towards their home keeping their eyes on DaVaughn.  The girls jumped in DaVaughn’s face in unison, boy you ain’t running a damn thing over here they sang out simultaneously! Carrie and Toni stood in front of Austin as if to block him from reaching for her again. You ARE NOT about to make a scene at my home! Austin caught herself yelling and quickly corrected her tone. So your just going to take this, this, this… This what? Toni interrupted? I want you to call me out of my name, oh boy! PLEASE… Say something foul and you already know!

Austin with a look of scattered emotions tattooed on her face, turned around and headed upstairs to her bedroom. She couldn’t take it anymore, she just wanted to close her eyes on this night and wake and it’s all over. She threw her book bag and purse on the floor and climbed into bed, shoes and all! She was exhausted in every way.

Austin was cradled in her bed attempting to hide herself from the outside world continued to be interrupted by the nagging sound of her cell phone vibrating on her purse against the hardwood floor. Maybe they will stop calling. Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, pause. Thank God, they got the hint. Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. Seriously, clearly I’m not answering the damn phone. Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. Austin unraveled herself from her fortress of blankets, and blindly searched her dark room for her purse on the floor. After about what seemed like 30 billion calls Austin grumbled into her cell, hello.